He (blank)!- ad-libs

[LAMECH]

Remember Mad-libs as a kid? If you don't, they were these neat books were they would tell you a story and in the content of the story would give you blanks where you or your friend would fill in.
Well, I'd like to start one here. The rule is simple. Write a short story, a few sentences or even one sentence but end it with a blank. Then the next person fills in that blank and continues the story.
Get it? Got it! Good!
Let's begin......

It was a dark and stormy night. The maid of the house cringed with every clap of thunder. She hated it. Everyone was off at the summer house except for her. She was left behind to keep things in order.
So, here she was all alone in the big old house with a loud storm to keep her company. "Lovely," she sighed as she walked into the master bedroom.
Suddenly she screamed. In the room, lying on the bed before her was....

[Ersby]

... the most disgusting set of bedsheets she'd ever seen. Steeling herself, she took a firm hold of one end and pulled them from the bed (and it wasn't static keeping them stuck together, either). Wrapping the sheets into a ball, she headed back downstairs to the kitchens to put them through the washing machine. But as she approached she saw the kitchen light was on. Had she left it on earlier? She pushed open the door, went inside and trod on...

[LAMECH]

Jimmy Hoffa!
The big man pursed his lips and pressed a finger against them. "Shhhhhh....I'm still hiding. But I could have sworn that youse guyz had Philly cheesteaks. Anyway, you won't squeal on me, will yah?"
The woman opened her mouth and began to yell....

[AsIs]

The yelling atracked a strapping young pizza delivery boy who had been peering at the house number apparently lost...

He burst thru the door, pizza aloft, took in the scene and said, "Peperoni anyone?"

The houselady looked on the verge of fainting, Jimmy looked up and said?...

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- "How do you know the chosen ones? No greater love hath a man than he lay down his life for his friend. Not for millions, not for glory, not for fame... for one person. In the dark. Where no one will ever know or see." - Sebastion, Babylon 5
- Really I am a woman...honest!
- Oh, and I really like women too
- Resident KiSA (Knight in Shining Armor!)

[Chilimuffin]

"Nah... last time me an' Elvis split a piece of that, it gave me the worst indigestion of my life... but thanks." Jimmy chuckled indulgently and closed his eyes, ending the conversation.

The pizza boy looked vaguely confused. Peering at the maid through straggles of mousy hair and cokebottle glasses, he asked, "This is 23 CliffSide Boulevard isn't it? Only I couldn't see the address because the dogs were after me...."

The maid stared at him, totally perplexed, and said, "What dogs? We've never had dogs; we only have....."

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"carpe jugulum" - terry pratchett

"but truth is just like time, it catches up and it just keeps going."
-dar williams

"I will always be me; I will always be new."
-delmore schwartz

[garetha]

'Lemurs!The Master will go insane if anything happens to any of his silver-backed Lemurs...'wibbled the housemaid,tearfully.'Where did you see the dogs'?
The pizza boy pointed to the door,but all three were startled when,with the sound of a loud bark,a headless and spurting lemur came flying through the window and landed on..........